"Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No funeral services has been set for the passing of Common Sense. One of the reasons for this decision was that few mourners could be found. No one knows for sure how old Common Sense was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishnes. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm; ...
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies. He did't spend more than you can earn. He understand reliable parenting strategies (adults not children are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including body piercing, whole language,and "new math." But his health declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing regulations. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers.
His health rapidly deteriorated when
schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance policies
. Reports of a 6-year-old boy in Lexington, North Carolina at the Southwest Elementary School in 1996
with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate on her cheek; a thirteen year student from Oregon was suspended from school for using Scope mouthwash after lunch because they had thought that the meal had tasted unpleasant; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers - I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame and I'm A Victim.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not join the majority and do nothing."
From what I gather, a small version first appeared in a British newspaper back in 1998. After doing some research on the internet, I found quite a few articles so I expanded this missive to include the new things that I have found.